Living with someone who has attention deficit disorder (ADD) is a complete struggle, especially if you have no idea or clue on how to handle this kind of mental condition. Take note that the symptoms of ADD can hurt your marriage and cause it to go down the drain. This is why you need to act fast if you want to stay in the relationship with your husband. It is essential for you to be aware of what ADHD means. Once you have a full understanding of this disorder, the next thing to do is to work hard in encouraging your partner to change.
Below is a list of the things that you can do:
Be More Affectionate To Your Husband
The last thing that you want to do is to make your partner feel that you love him less because of his attention deficit disorder. You need to be more understanding when it comes to dealing with his mental condition. Be subtle in making your requests from him or asking him to do some tasks. Avoid yelling, as it will only drive him away from you. For example, if you need him to do something, try touching his arms or stroking his hands while talking. “We should examine the inextricable role that self-love plays in any and all human connection.”Clinical Psychologist and relationship expert Molly Gasbarrini, Ph.D. explains.
Avoid Making Him Feel Bad
Now that you are married to your husband, you must exert some effort to make him feel good about himself. A good wife is someone who knows how to bring out the best in her spouse. As such, you must avoid giving him too much pressure. Take note that the effects of his condition are beyond his control. What you can do is to let him know that you will be there for him during the best and worst times of his life. As Vara Saripalli, PsyD suggests, “Be supportive and let them know it is not that you think something is wrong with them, but that you want them to have some help with their current challenges. Sometimes, people who are depressed want help but don’t know how to get started.”
Have A High Level Of Patience
A person with ADD has a different way of handling goals and responsibilities. You may think that you have already informed him of all the things he has to accomplish for the day, but you will be surprised how he could mess it up. Do not blame him for the mistakes. His condition prevents him from being a goal-oriented person. Because of this, it is imperative for you to increase your patience. Do not easily get mad if your partner fails to meet your expectations.
Talk To Him Properly
Just because your loved one has ADD does not mean that you already have the right to nag at him whenever he does something wrong. Treat your husband with respect because both of you are equal in the relationship. If there is something that bothers you, be sure to open it up with your partner. When doing so, do not forget to use the right tone and words so that the other spouse would not be hurt. Another thing that you need to do is to find the perfect timing for starting a conversation. As much as possible, talks about his mental condition must only be made at the comforts of your home. Do not discuss such matters when friends or other people are around. “Negative thoughts are just a part of life, but they don’t have to consume you. Instead of trying to ignore those thoughts altogether, try countering them with positive statements.” Licensed clinical psychologist John Mayer, Ph.D. said.
Be there for your husband no matter what happens in your marriage. He needs you to be with him for the rest of his life.