Things You Should Never Say About Children With ADHD



Do you have someone in the family who is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? If you do, then you might have already experienced people’s judgments and comments about the condition and how negatively they think about its impact on our life.

It is a painful truth that a lot has been said about ADHD – confusing statements and misconceptions that are hurtful to us and of course, to the people who are living with ADHD. Some mistakenly refer to it as a myth, an imaginary disorder that exists only because of over-diagnosis and over-medication. Also, due to lack of knowledge and pure ignorance, they believe that it is a temporary behavioral pattern that can be cured through good parenting and will eventually disappear when the person reaches adulthood. Worse, others make incorrect and offensive statements about ADHD.

“When people think about attention deficit disorder (ADHD), they usually consider it a childhood problem. However, a large proportion — between 30 and 70 percent — of children with the condition remain affected throughout adulthood.” –Ben Martin, Psy.D



If you are a family member or a significant other whose loved one has ADHD, you might be interested to learn more. Below is a list of things that you should never say to children or adults with ADHD.

ADHD is a myth. Kids are just kids, so let them be.”

“ADHD is just over-diagnosed and always used as a diagnosis for hyperactive kids.”

“It’s not a big deal at all. We all have a little ADHD.”

These statements have everything to do with the legitimacy of ADHD as a true and real condition. People may unconsciously state that they had an “ADHD situation” or just have “a little ADHD.” Undeniably, almost all of us have our moments when we forget even the simplest things, or we tend to be absent-minded when we are too caught up in deadlines. And, yes, parents often face the wrath of their child’s tantrums. These are but normal. But for those with ADHD, these circumstances don’t just happen once or twice in a month. They live with the symptoms every waking day of their life, and it debilitates them.

“A child or teen diagnosed with ADD may or may not also have hyperactivity, which is a set of behaviors characterized by unstoppable fidgeting, not staying seated while in class, climbing on furniture or running about when it’s not play time, talks excessively, and cannot seem to play quietly.” –John M. Grohol, Psy.D

“It’s just an excuse to be lazy.”

“He has bad behavior, that’s who he is.”

“You’ll get through it if you just push yourself a little harder.”

There are times when people assume that individuals – kids, especially in this case – are just displaying bad behavior, and if they try to be good and push themselves to obey, these behaviors will disappear. This perception may lead people to think of ADHD more negatively. For instance, when other kids can do an activity fairly quickly than those who are diagnosed with ADHD, some might say that they’re just lazy. This is not the case. ADHD is a disorder that is characterized by an inability to consistently perform a task in a specific manner at a specific amount of time regularly. For that person with ADHD, it can be more than devastating. ADHD is not an excuse. It is an explanation of a real condition.

“Children meet developmental milestones when they are ready. There are ranges of what is considered appropriate and what may be considered delayed.” –Francyne Zeltser, Psy.D.

“ADHD emerges when parents fail to perform their obligations. It’s all about good parenting.”

“All your child needs is more discipline.”

So goes this below-the-belt judgment from other parents who only know too little. You don’t cure someone of his ADHD when you become a better parent, or you establish stricter rules for him. While it is true that individuals with ADHD can be more challenging to deal with, parents don’t need to doubt their skills and their love for their children. ADHD is a neurobiological disorder, typically genetic in nature. Although environmental factors can help them adjust to their condition, external factors such as this will not cure it.




The misconceptions and incorrect statements mentioned above are particularly harmful because their mistaken beliefs keep the parents of kids with ADHD and also adult with ADHD from seeking possible treatment. It is vital, then, that we must all know more about it, including its signs and symptoms, the proper interventions, and how we can help make life easier for them in our little ways.



Can Someone Really Have Multiple Personalities?



When your spouse, child, or other loved one seems to be having multiple personalities, it is only natural to feel anxious and scared. Is split personality disorder really true? Years of research and studies suggest that it is real, and currently, it has been reclassified as dissociative identity disorder. Family members and significant others can learn about it through reading books and searching the web for answers to their queries. They will come to learn that yes, multiple personality disorder can be treated.

“A mental illness cannot be willed away or brushed aside with a change in attitude. Ignoring the problem doesn’t give it the slip either.” Deborah Serani, PsyD said. When you are diagnosed with a mental illness, it can be both devastation and relief. An official diagnosis means that what you’ve suspected is confirmed – there is something wrong. However, when you know what you have, this can provide more possibilities for treatment and recovery. The diagnosis can be a foundation that will help one understand his loved one’s illness and find ways to provide proper care, including therapy, medications, and home strategies that would help the person with mental illness live as normal a life he could live.



On the contrary, not every diagnosis has positive consequences. If your loved one is diagnosed with anxiety, for instance, there is not much complication. Even if not everybody believed that he has anxiety, only very few would refute the existence of anxiety itself. But with dissociative identity disorder, it can be a lot more argumentative. Because of the influence of culture and society, clinicians, patients, and even families doubt the legitimacy of the diagnosis, which may lead to patients not getting the care that they need to recover. Is split personality disorder real? Let us further discuss it here.


The Potential For Recovering From Dissociative Identity Disorder

“A personality disorder is a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behavior of a specified kind causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society” That is according to Nicole Martinez, Psy.D. “Split personality’ can undoubtedly challenge one’s understanding of the human being and his mind in general. Despite a lot of confusion, one should know that it is something that can be remedied, and people who have the illness can help push this fact forward by joining evidence-based clinical trials and treatment modalities.

However, one should keep in mind that recovering from the disorder does not and will never happen overnight. It takes time, and it involves a psychotherapy-based approach where your loved one will go through various stages to achieve integration and unification of his personalities. It can take months and will entail having to recall traumatic experiences that may affect your loved one’s current state in life. But your vital role as a significant other or family to him would be as strong support of comfort and love.



Treatment for dissociative identity disorder not only targets the acute symptoms but is also focused on building the necessary skills for the person to live healthily amidst his illness. As Marc Browning, RN, Psy.D used to say, “If an individual is willing to accept treatment, long-term talk therapy or psychotherapy, can help. Sometimes these approaches are combined with medication if the person is dealing with debilitating symptoms or related conditions, such as depression or anxiety.” This process includes learning how to create healthy relationships, setting realistic goals, and finding meaning and purpose in his life. Throughout the treatment process, you and the rest of the family as his support system will be among the strongest resources for your mentally ill loved one. With you working hand in hand with his healthcare team, your loved one will potentially move forward to a more wonderful future with the possibility of healing fully within his reach.




Me And My Obsessive-Compulsive Husband



Charles and I have been together for ten years now, and I would say that our life hasn’t been all highs – but whose life is perfect, right? My husband has obsessive-compulsive disorder, although I didn’t know this until we got married. We have a son who luckily doesn’t have one, but both of us are tremendously affected in terms of our time, work and school, and the family as a whole. But don’t get me wrong – I have no regrets. I’ve had my share of frustrations for the past years, but I’ve come to accept it, which is the first step in appropriately dealing with OCD in your loved one. We’ve successfully made certain adjustments, and yes, we do feel stressed and anxious from time to time but overall, it has been a happy life.

As a wife of someone with OCD, I would just like to share my experiences firsthand in the hope of being able to help a fellow wife, a husband of an OCD wife, or anyone who is living with a loved with the disorder. “OCD can be very overwhelming to families and can really interfere with how families can normally function,” says Dr. Jerry Bubrick, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. And he’s right with that.


My OC Husband



Charles used to have a lot of issues when we were newly married. He would tell me that he thinks I didn’t care about him or that I wasn’t sensitive enough. The first year for me was the hardest, as I didn’t have any idea at all what he had and how to help him. He would be drinking water from a glass and then he repeatedly puts it down and raises it again and again. Another time he closed our door and put the key inside the knob to lock it, but he couldn’t – he just kept turning it over and over again!

I was concerned and a little scared at the same time. I called my dad and told him about it, and that’s when I first heard about the disorder. He said that Charles might be obsessive-compulsive. I confronted Charles about it, and initially, he got mad. Or perhaps it was a way of covering up for his embarrassment. He couldn’t accept that he had a mental health illness, as it is a psychiatric condition described as excessive repetition of doing things. For a whole year, we both were exhausted, frustrated, and very stressed.

Then in our second year, my husband came to me, crying. He said he couldn’t afford to lose me and destroy our marriage just because of his illness. And I said I didn’t want that too. So we talked. He shared everything that he was going through – that he couldn’t control his urge to do something even though he wanted to stop. He felt isolated and he said it was the reason why he didn’t want to go to the parties of our friends. I looked at him and I felt pity and love. I assured him that he was not alone because we had each other – for better or worse.


The Journey To Therapy

We decided to visit a therapist who specialized in helping individuals with personality disorders like OCD. He discussed with us everything we needed to know about my husband’s condition and told us that we had to be committed to get Charles regular treatment. We should work together to fight the OCD, not fight against each other. As a wife, I needed to have sufficient knowledge of obsessive-compulsive disorder so that I will learn how to deal with my husband’s characteristics and activities. It’s true that “Therapy gives you permission to allow you to feel the pain and know that it’s valid.” Carmen Gehrke, LMHC stated.

When I gave birth to our son, Charles was doing very well with his treatment and we made great adjustments in our marriage. When our son turned 5, we gradually introduced him to his dad’s illness so that he would understand the things that he saw in his dad. He has learned fast and I can say that he is the best son to his dad, showing him his love and affection and support.



I know it sounds really easy, but it’s not. OCD is confusing and disorganized, and progress is not consistent, although it is there. However, I am positively sharing you this to reassure you that OCD can be managed. We just need to have patience and openness to each other. When things go topsy-turvy and you feel like nothing going to turn out right, first remember that you have each other. There’s always the possibility of repair, healing, and recovery.

“Left untreated, OCD can dramatically straight-jacket people’s lives by encumbering them with relentless, irrational, horrific, intrusive thoughts and images (obsessions) and very time consuming, repetitive or elaborate, maladaptive behaviors (compulsions).” –Clifford N. Lazarus Ph.D.


When Kids Are More Than Just Sad

Most often, we already know the usual reactions of our children when they are excited about something, or when they are reprimanded for what they did, or when they don’t get what they want. We know their faces when they’re sad or irritated or hurt. However, despite how much you know your child, you must pay attention to how long she has been nurturing that sadness, that anger, that frustration. Because when these emotions stay for a long time and have been hindering your child from functioning normally, then she might just be depressed. Continue reading When Kids Are More Than Just Sad

How To Manage Mixed Emotions

There are times in your life when you begin to have mixed emotions about everything you do or the person you are always together with. The sad part about this is that you can become vulnerable the moment you become unsure of what you are feeling. According to a therapist, mixed feelings can be dangerous for someone who can be easily swayed. This person tends to become confused to the point that he no longer knows what to do next.


If you believe that you are this kind of individual, it is best to spend the next few minutes reading this article. Be sure to read the content from start to finish so that you can get an idea on the right things to do the moment you find yourself in a compromising situation where you are clueless with what you are feeling and what is causing such emotion. The problem becomes more complicated if you think a lot of things all at once. What are the best ways to deal with this issue? Here is the answer to your question:

Write A Journal Entry

Are you aware that writing about your thoughts and emotions can be highly therapeutic? When you use pen and paper to explore your feelings, you will begin to see your life at a bigger perspective. You will know the factors that affect what you feel every single moment. Because of this, you will become more aware of your emotions, and that can help a lot in controlling what you say and do. Aside from this, jotting down your concerns in a journal is also an excellent way of expressing what your heart truly desires. In the long run, your journal entries can guide you in choosing as to which among all your emotions should you allow to prevail. As explained by Alison Stone, LCSW, “Journaling is great for enhancing self-awareness through helping us detect and track patterns of behavior, thoughts, and feelings.”


Be Willing To Experiment

Do not be afraid to take an adventure and experiment on the factors that affect your feelings. For example, if you are seeing someone whom you like but cannot imagine being together with for the rest of your life, do not reject that person right away. Instead, give yourself ample time to spend together so that you can get to know one another. Be a willing subject to an experiment so that you can determine what you want. If you decide without subjecting or exposing yourself to the situation, there is a high possibility that you may make the wrong choice. However, it does not mean that you need to get yourself too involved in the situation. Be smart enough to know when is the proper time to quit and get back to reality.

Exercise Regularly

Another thing that you must not neglect is to make yourself physically fit and active. “Exercising regularly is one of the easiest and most effective ways to reduce the symptoms of ADHD. Exercise has been shown to improve concentration, motivation, memory, and mood. ” says Staci Lee Schnell, MS, CS, LMFT. As much as possible, find time to engage in exercises or physical activities so that you can have more happy hormones in your body. A recent study shows that whenever a human person exercises, the body releases dopamine, which is responsible for making an individual feel happy and cheerful. The more happy hormones you have in your system, the easier it would be on your part to manage your emotions. You will also have a high level of energy to face any issue or concern that will come your way. Because of this, do not forget to avoid a sedentary lifestyle and to focus on an active one.


Be Honest On Yourself

Just because you have mixed emotions does not mean that you are completely clueless of what you want to happen. Deep down inside you, there is that part that tells you what you want to accomplish or achieve. All you need to do is to be brave enough to confront yourself and understand your heart desires. It is high time to be honest to yourself and stop denying what you genuinely feel. Keep in mind that failure to accept your emotions can lead to more significant problems in the future. The right thing to do is to find some alone time, get in touch with yourself, and listen to what your gut is telling you. Mixed emotions may be confusing, but you are always better than them, which is why it is a lot easier for you to manage everything. “Self-compassion is being gentle with yourself, not beating yourself up over your past decisions, and accepting that you are human and make mistakes.” therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW used to say.

If you think that your mixed feelings or emotions have taken a toll in your life or has disturbed your mental wellness, do not hesitate to call a therapist to help or assist you. You can do it.

A Guide To Helping Someone With Depression

If there is one thing that you need to advocate in life, it is to help people who are suffering from depression. Keep in mind that someone who has a mental condition has a high potential of hurting himself or causing violence to other people. As such, it is crucial on your part to learn the top ways on how you can help or assist someone with depression. Psychology tells us that depression is not an easy thing to handle, which is why you need to exert more efforts in reaching out to the person involved.




Before anything else, you need to understand fully that you can never make yourself available to others if you are also having troubles with your mental condition. Understand that “Loneliness is an epidemic, We’re the most socially connected society, yet so many people experience extreme loneliness.” says psychologist Amy Sullivan, PsyD. Because of this, you must first fix all your problems and issues before you can advocate for those suffering from the depression. Take note that there is no way that you can assist others if you are also wallowing in extreme loneliness and grief.


When you think you are mentally stable to extend help to others, make sure to follow these tips:


Learn More About Depression


The initial step that you must consider is to study depression, including its signs and symptoms. It is best if you will educate yourself about this mental condition so that you will not have a hard time handling the issues of other people. You need to know what triggers depression and what is the best way to combat it. At the same time, you have to remind yourself that every person has a different story. As such, you cannot make one conclusion about depression just by merely interacting with one individual. You have to make yourself available for as many people as possible so that you can extend your helping arms to them.


Be Available At All Times


Are you aware that one of the reasons why people become more depressed is because they do not have someone to talk to. They allow their thoughts and feelings to bring them down because they have no outlet where they can let all negativity come out. “We all experience these ups and downs, and most of the time we get through the downs and move on to better times. But for many of us certain situations at can trigger an episode of depression and make us feel a hopelessness that won’t go away.” Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC said. So if you genuinely want to help an individual who is suffering from depression, then the best thing that you can do is to become available at times. Be ready whenever a close friend or a family member wants to talk to you. You do not need to say anything during the conversations. What is important is that you allow the said person to open up about his problems. Show him that you always have time for him.




Say The Right Words


Another thing that you must always put in mind when it comes to dealing with someone who has depression is the fact that the said individual may be sensitive. “Harsh words are just as damaging whether they come from someone else or whether they come from you,” says licensed psychologist Cindy T. Graham, PhD. You will be surprised to find out how a person with depression can easily get hurt by the deeds of others or the words of the people surrounding him. If you do not want to add burden to the said individual, the ideal thing to do is to see to it that you know what to say when talking to him. Think twice before you utter your words because you may end up hurting him instead of helping him cope up with the mental condition.


Recommend A Therapist


One of the things that you can also do is to give a piece of advice to the said individual. Do not hesitate to recommend a therapist or counselor if you know any. Take note that therapy sessions are effective in treating mental health-related problems such as depression and anxiety. Remind yourself that your goal is merely to give a referral or suggestion to the person concerned. You must not force him in any way to try therapy if he does not want to. You also need to be sensitive in making the recommendation so as not to cause dismay or disappointment to the other person.






You will notice that a depressed individual has too much negativity in his life. Sometimes, it will be challenging for you to handle all the bad vibes to the point that you may also be adversely affected. What you need to do is to see to it that you are also in a perfect mental state. Otherwise, both of you might end up becoming depressed. As such, it is suggested that you also focus on your mental wellness and physical health. Be the best version of yourself before helping others,


A Guide To Supporting Someone With Mental Health Problems


Even with our best intentions at heart, expressing support for our loved ones with mental health problems can be tricky. We can only know so much about what they are going through, and because of this, some of our efforts do not necessarily translate to the best courses of actions. However, this should not discourage any of us from reaching out. All it takes is a better understanding of how we can be there for the people we hold dear. Here is a guide to offering your support to someone battling mental health issues.

Know More About Their Condition

As with a lot of pursuits, knowledge comes before action – and being a better friend is no exception. To get a better understanding of the situations, they are going through; it helps to know as much as you can about what they’re going through. From knowing its formal definition, to how this manifests itself into someone’s day-today, doing so – in a way – places you in their shoes. It will help you to be more mindful of the things that will be helping them. As well as what will not be helpful for your friends to get better.

Validate What They Are Saying

Someone struggling with emotions and experiences that are hard to process can feel like they are alone in the battle they are facing. In these times, the warmth of hearing “I understand” or a “your feelings are valid” can ease them a lot and make them feel less alone.

According to Dr. Lindsay Macchia, an associate psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, “Validation communicates to another person that their emotions make sense given the context they are in.” She adds that “Even if you have never been in that particular situation or felt an emotion quite as strongly, validating your friend shows that this is not an ‘overreaction’ or an ‘underreaction.’ It is how they feel, and that is perfectly acceptable.”


Let Them Share As Little Or As Much As They Want To

In our desire to know how they feel and how they are doing, we sometimes can place a lot of pressure on the people we love. Understand that letting their guard down and talking about their deepest worries and feelings takes immense levels readiness and trust – both of which do not come right away. Never rush them into opening up, and let them do so in a moment and place where they feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Continue reading A Guide To Supporting Someone With Mental Health Problems

11 Ways You Can Start Prioritizing Your Mental Health


When the talk is about improving oneself, it will eventually lead to healthy eating, working out and getting enough sleep. However, there are times that despite following all these tips, sometimes, nothing seems to work. You are still restless even long before the day ends. Maybe your diet, your physical activities, and sleep is not the problem; perhaps it has to do with your mental health.

Continue reading 11 Ways You Can Start Prioritizing Your Mental Health

The Seven Stages Of A Scorned Woman


Many have asked on what to do if a woman is scorned, how to calm her down, what causes her outbursts, what triggers her anger, how long does this last or how others handled similar situations. The answer is, it is complicated. There may be different reasons why a woman feels angry and scornful. You can share this with your friends or family.

Continue reading The Seven Stages Of A Scorned Woman